Introduction
We all have goals. Whether it is money, love, work or something more personal. Most people spend their lives chasing them.
But in that pursuit, an important thing gets overlooked. The real purpose behind it all. Happiness.
Goals are not the final destination. They just steps toward it.
Yet we keep searching. Through taking courses, reading books, and still ask the same question. How do we actually be happy?
I’ve been on the same path.
Over time, I found one answer that changed how I see things: Stoicism.
In this post, I will share what I’ve learn from stoicism, and how it reshaped my thinking, and how to apply this principle in real life.
My Background
I have come close to depression twice in my life.
The first time was when I started working. The second was two years ago. They were different experiences, but both shaped who I am today.
The first came from my workplace. I walked into my family business thinking it would be a walk in the park—work during the day, enjoy life in the evening, just like university.
Reality hit hard.
There were high expectations and a culture I struggled to fit into. I felt completely alone—small and left out. Even when I tried to prove myself, nothing changed. Without realizing it, I started acting in ways I never thought I would.
At that point, all I felt was hatred.
Eventually, I told myself I had to do something. That decision led me into network marketing, which helped pull me out of that state.
After that, I made a promise to myself: I would never let myself fall that far again.
I began planning everything carefully. Setting goals. Taking courses. Constantly trying to improve myself.
One of those experiences was an Inner Makeover class with Kru Ngor. It helped me reflect and understand my own behavior more clearly.
Then, the second time came.
This time, it came from my loved ones. I found myself staring at the wall for hours, feeling completely helpless. But with the support of people around me, I was able to recover within three months.
That experience changed how I see goals.
The first time, my goals were materialistic—revenue, assets, possessions. The second time, everything shifted. I started asking a different question:
What do I actually need to be happy?
I kept searching. Reading, learning, exploring myself.
Eventually, I came across one principle—Stoicism.
When I studied it, I realized it aligned deeply with what I had learned from Kru Ngor.
Today, everything I do points in one direction.
Not success. Not status.
Happiness.
The Principle
The heart of Stoicism is based on a simple idea
Be the best version of yourself
From this, three principles emerge:
- Focus on what you can control
- Live in accordance with nature
- Take responsibility for your own lives
Focus on what you can control
Much of our frustration comes from trying to control what we cannot.
- Why didn’t he do this?
- Why did this happen to me?
These questions lead nowhere
We cannot control external factors, but we can control our response
Humans are born, they grew up, and one day, they eventually pass away. These are fixed.
What remains within our control is how we choose to live in between.
- We can choose to take care of our health
- We can choose to find meaning
- We can choose how we react to what happens
This is not about ignoring reality. It is about accepting it—and responding with intention.
Live in according with nature
Stoics believe that people are naturally good. When people act wrongly, they are living against the nature itself. However, their wrongful act is not random. There is always a reason behind it.
This aligns with something I learned from Kru Ngor
Every behavior has a cause
Take someone who is afraid to speak in a meeting. It is easy to label it as personality. But look deeper. What creates that character. Upbringing? Past Experiences?
Understand where the character stems from creates awareness. Accepting it will shows maturity. Working on it leads to growth.
Stoicism is built on four core virtues:
- Courage
- Knowledge
- Rightfulness
- Self-Sufficient
The goal is to live with these four virtues in mind. The key is balance.
Too little kindness leads to isolation. Too much kindness would leads to being taken advantage of.
Take responsibility for our own lives
When things go wrong, it is easy to blame external factors.
The environment. Other people. Circumstances.
Stoicism rejects that mindset.
You are responsible for your life—both the tangible and intangible parts of it. Your career, your mindset, your happiness.
Take education as an example.
If a lecturer teaches poorly, it is natural to blame them for failure. But Stoicism takes a different view.
There are other resources—books, the internet, alternative ways to learn.
The outcome still depends on you.
Responsibility is not about blame.
It is about ownership.
And ownership is what gives you control over your life.
The mechanisms to the way we act
The Brain Functionality
If stoics believe that people are naturally good, why do we still see so many negative behaviors?
This is just how our brain works. We don’t operate from logic all the time. In fact, most of our reactions are driven by instinct and emotion before reason ever gets involved.
According to Kru Ngor, Our brain consists of three different parts:
- Instinctive Part (90%) – This is our survival system. It reacts quickly to potential threats, creating feelings of fear, anxiety. The purpose is to keep us safe.
- Emotion Part (9%) – This is where our feelings our experiences are shaped and processed.
- Intellectual Part (1%) – This is the rational part of the mind. It allows us to think, reflect, and make decisions based on reality rather than impulse. It gives us the ability to pause, understand, and choose our actions.
Instinct is fastest to operate. If you touch a boiling water, you pull your hand away immediately. No thinking involved. Your body reacts to protect you.
When we feel threatened—whether physically, emotionally, or socially—we react quickly. Sometimes without thinking.
This is where problems begin.
People lie to avoid consequences.
They hide the truth to protect themselves.
They act selfishly out of fear.
These are not always conscious decisions. They are reactions.
So what drives these reactions?
At the root, most of our behavior is shaped by fear.
There are three common forms:
- Fear of pain and suffering
Both physical and emotional - Fear of insecurity
Financial instability, loss, betrayal - Fear of rejection
The need to belong and be accepted
These fears push us into instinctive behavior.
And when instinct takes over, we move away from reason—and from the version of ourselves we aim to become.
The Practicality
To apply Stoicism in life, I focus on three things.
- Use intelligence over instinct
- Take ownership of my own life
- Commit to learning
Intelligence over Instincts
Most of our reactions are instinctive.
We respond quickly, and only realize that our actions led to unwanted outcomes. Deep down, we know that it wasn’t right.
Instinct and emotions happen faster than reason.
The key is to:
- Realize and remind ourselves of what we’re feeling. Don’t avoid or deny it. Accept it and watch it disperse. This keep our emotions in check
- Accept our emotions and give and accept your own apology if its wrong
Over time, intelligence takes over and instinct loses control.
Take ownership for your own lives
When things go wrong, it is easy to blame others. But blaming solves nothing. It only wastes time.
Instead of asking for the ones responsible, start thinking about what can be done next. Decide the next step and execute it.
The mindset does not develop overnight. It takes time. However, if you can master your emotions, then you’re halfway there.
Commit to Learning
To take ownership of my life, I realized I needed to build my ability to think.
That starts with learning.
I learn broadly to understand different perspectives, but I also go deeper when something matters. Not just to know more, but to see things more clearly.
But learning alone is not enough.
I apply what I learn. That is what turns knowledge into understanding.
Writing plays a big role in this. By putting my thoughts into words, I’m forced to organize them. Over time, this becomes a record of how I think and how I improve. Building a blog is part of that process. It becomes both a learning tool and a reflection of my work.
When I encounter a problem, I try to solve it on my own first.
Not because I have to—but because the process matters.
Struggling through it strengthens my ability to think. It trains me to rely less on instinct, and more on understanding.
Conclusion
Looking back, my pursuit of happiness has not been straightforward.
There were moments where I felt lost. Times where I reacted out of fear, without understanding why. I tried to fix things by setting goals, achieving more, and becoming better. But something was always missing.
Stoicism gave me a different perspective.
It taught me that the problem was not the world around me, but how I responded to it. That not everything is within my control, but my actions always are.
Since then, my focus has changed.
I no longer chase outcomes the same way. Instead, I pay more attention to how I think, how I act, and how I respond to situations in front of me.
It is not perfect. There are still moments where instinct takes over. But now, I am more aware of it.
Not only that, I am continuously learning. This website is a representation of my education. One that I hope, never really ends.
If you’re are not learning, then you are moving backwards
But learning is not just about gaining knowledge.
The challenge is in applying it. Aside from sharing ideas on my website, I struggle to convert apply it in real life. But slowly, I’m getting there.
The path of Stoicism is not easy. Getting lost in the process is natural. Still, I truly believe that the reward is worth it.
A sense of self-worth.
A sense of freedom.
Not the kind that comes from external success, but from understanding and control within.
In the end, this is what Stoicism has given me.
Not a perfect life, but a stable one
And for me, that is enough.
Disclosures
AI tools were used to assist with outlining, clarification, and editing suggestions.
All ideas, interpretations, and final writing decisions are my own.
References
Kasidis Satangmongkol – Life’s Missing Manual
Rosukon Kongket (Kru Ngor) – Nice to meet me
Rosukon Kongket (Kru Ngor) – Inner Makeover Class 2024
Rosukon Kongket (Kru Ngor) – Master Your Communication Class 2024
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