Introduction
“I still don’t know what to do with my own life.”
Most of us have said this at some point — as teenagers, fresh graduates, or even in our forties.
I used to be one of them.
Today, I don’t feel that way anymore.
I found clarity through a board game called Actual Life. The objective is simple: simulate your own life. The game encourages you to confront three questions:
- What have you done so far?
- What are the consequences of your past actions?
- What is your next move?
In this post, I’ll walk you through how the game works, the lessons it teaches, and how it changed my direction.
My Background
I grew up in a wealthy family. The message was always clear:
“Study hard. Graduate from a good university. Run family business”
I heard this statement since high school. At first, I didn’t think much of this. I wasted my university life. Little to no work experience at all.
After graduation, I returned home and joined the family business.
That’s when reality hit.
Learning systems was hard. Understanding business operations was harder. Managing people was the hardest.
Everyone expected results immediately. Every mistake felt magnified. I felt watched.
What’s more, I spent most of my life alone. My social skills were underdeveloped. The pressure, combined with my inexperience, pushed me into a depression that lasted a year and a half.
After that, I tried to rebuild myself. I took courses. I read books. I set goals. I experimented with network marketing.
Each effort gave me motivation — but only temporarily.
I came across Actual Life in May 2023.
Since then, things have shifted. I became intentional about building the right skills. I began seeking work experiences through stronger connections. I start looking for new career paths and business opportunities.
Today, I am an Actual Life certified facilitator. I’m still growing in many areas, but the direction is clear.
How it started: The Background of the Game
A highly successful businessman once claimed he had complete freedom. He had built wealth, achieved status, and could retire at a young age.
Yet he fell into depression.
When he later met others of similar success, he discovered something unexpected — many of them felt the same.
They had achieved everything they once aimed for. Yet something was missing.
He began asking himself a simple question:
Why am I so depressed even when I’ve acquire everything
He kept searching for an answer to this question. Over time, he realize. The issue wasn’t achievement. It was direction.
That realization became the foundation of Actual Life.
Game Flow
Objective of the Game
The objective is simple: manage your resources to achieve your personal dreams and ideal lifestyle — by playing as yourself as honestly as possible.
The Game Process
Each player begins by selecting three aspiration cards of their choice. These represent their ultimate life goals.
Players are then given a fixed amount of six core resources:
- Health
- Knowledge
- Happiness
- Relationship
- Money
- Time
In addition, each player receives a set of “free resources.” These symbolize their early life from ages 0 to 9. Players may distribute these resources across the six categories in any way they choose — except for time.
For example, someone who had many friends during childhood might allocated more resources to relationships.
Once resources are allocated, the game begins.
The game is played over five life periods. Each period contains of limited number of turns.
Each turn, players draws opportunities cards and select one. These cards represent decisions or events that enter their lives. After selecting a card that suits them the most in that period, they pay and receive resources accordingly. The decks then rotate.
Once selected, players must pay and receive resources. After that, the decks rotate.
Instead of choosing opportunity cards, players fulfilling the requirements of their aspiration cards to achieve their dream. They may also “beg for money” by sacrificing time.
A period ends when multiple players run out of time. At this point, Time resets and additional resources are added before moving into the next period.
Before each new period, two accident cards are distributed. Players may choose to play accident cards or ignore it. This represents their flexibility to deal with unforeseen events.
In the advance version, world scenarios are introduced at the beginning of each period – simulating events such as pandemics or economic crises.
The game ends when a player either loses all health resources or completes all five periods.
At the end of the game, remaining resources are tallied up and convert into scores and compared. A group reflection follows. On the surface, the structure seems simple — but the conversation that emerges often goes much deeper.
My Personal Storyline and Reflections
I played this game many times. each session reveals something different. Not about the game, but about myself.
My Game Flow
Here’s an example of one particular run. I begin with these three aspirations.
- World Traveling
- Happy Relationship among my siblings
- Early Retirement
These reflected what I genuinely value: freedom, connection and security.
My Early Stages
Because of my upbringing, I began the game with slightly more money and knowledge. My childhood was stable. I had access to education and extra classes.
The advantage was clear.
School to University
In this phase, I invest my time on knowledge, money and gaming. I saved, invest and focus on education and entertaining myself. But socially, I remained reserved.
My happiness was steady but my relationships were limited.
Looking back, this stage mirror my real teenage years: isolated but happy. Content but narrow.
Early Career
This period was intense
In this stage of the game, I stepped into a full time managerial role within family business. Most of my resources are allocated towards investments, knowledge, business opportunities and entertainment.
But it came at a cost
My happiness did not grow much. My health declined slightly.
As I got older, I devoted my self through building connections and gaining work experiences.
In the game, these appear as internships, meet and greet events , and social gatherings.
In real life, this meant taking both online and offline courses. Through those environments, I met new people and gradually expanded my network.
Some of these connections led to practical involvement. I joined network marketing for nearly two years. I supported a friend in photography-related work. I pursued certification as an Actual Life facilitator and began organizing sessions.
This stage revealed a pattern.
I was willing to invest heavily in growth — even at the cost of short-term happiness. Most of my energy was directed toward building foundations.
What stood out to me was not the accumulation of money or knowledge, but the trade-offs. Every opportunity required sacrifice.
The game mirrored what I was already doing in real life: searching for direction while carrying responsibility.
It confirmed something important: I wasn’t drifting. I was testing my direction under pressure.
Beyond my current age
From this point forward, I began envisioning the person I wanted to become.
By my late-30s in the game, the earlier investments began to pay off. Throughout education and connections, I solidified a business of my own. It generated income beyond what I currently earn. My relationships with friends and family get stronger.
Reflections at this stage
My happiness had not increased significantly.
Most of my time was still devoted to education and business development. Progress was visible but fulfillment did not automatically follow.
Overworking here had a negative impact on my health. Yet my relationship strengthened.
This stage showed me something subtle. Achievement alone does not raise happiness. Direction matters. Balance matters.
Moving on towards retirement age
In my early 40s, I achieve all my aspirations I had set for myself. I traveled around the world to places that inspired me. My close friends and relatives felt like true family. My business grow to the point where I feel financially free.
With those goals fulfilled, my focus shifted toward something more deliberate: happiness.
I prioritize my health, I chose activities that genuinely brought me joy.
To maintain my position as a manager and reduce my burden, I hire secretaries. This gives me more time and mental space to enjoy life.
My game play reflections at this stage of life
My happiness increased significantly during this period. It had not grown much in earlier decades, but once I stopped chasing expansion and started protecting balance, it rose naturally.
My health improved. My relationships remained stable — even if they were not my strongest category. That trade-off felt intentional. I had already fulfilled my aspiration of maintaining strong bonds with my siblings.
Money was no longer my primary focus. It was sufficient. And that was enough.
Retirement Age and Beyond
After retiring, I redirected my attention toward health and relationships. I hired caretakers when needed and prioritized long-term well-being. I simplified my responsibilities and spent more intentional time with close relatives and friends.
At this stage, I sell my stocks and bonds to ensure financial comfort. Toward the end of my life, I established a foundation — a way to leave something meaningful behind.
My reflections at this stage
Beyond the age of 60, the pace slowed. The focus shifted from growth to preservation — of health, of relationships, of peace of mind.
In this gameplay, I did not live the longest. I did not accumulate the highest wealth. My final score was not the strongest.
Yet the path felt aligned.
It reflected how I naturally allocate energy and what I am willing to sacrifice. More importantly, it clarified what “enough” looks like for me.
Looking at my present life, I feel at ease. The decisions I make today reinforce that direction — not dramatically, but steadily.
My Perspectives
What this game show me
This game helped me understand myself better. It reflected what I had done up to my current age and how I allocated time and energy.
Looking back at my younger years, I realize I could have invested more in practical work experiences and building stronger connections instead of isolating myself in education and gaming. As a result, I now spend more time building skills and exploring direction in my 30s. This cost me to achieve my goals slower.
But the more important realization is this: I now know what I am building toward.
Different Perspectives at different times
Playing game at different stages of life would give you different reflections.
When I first played this game two years ago, my primary goal is money. My ideal life was simple: live long, accumulate wealth and retire comfortable.
That version of my life included:
- Living past 100 years
- Accumulating a lot of wealth
- Spending much of my life isolated
- Becoming happy only at retirement
Today, I value living fully across each stage of life rather than postponing happiness until retirement. Longevity and wealth matter — but not at the cost of meaningful years.
Perspective evolves with maturity
I don’t know what my results will be another two years. And that certainty is part of growth.
Play by impersonating your ideal identity
Another way to approach the game is to play as the kind of person you want to become.
Instead of impersonating yourself, you design your life from birth to death based on your ideal identity
This raises the question
- If I embodied that identity today, how would my life look different?
Understand and accepting past mistakes allows forward movement without regret. The game does not change history. It changes awareness.
Conclusion
Actual Life did not give me answers.
It gave me perspective.
By compressing decades into a few hours, the game revealed patterns I could not easily see in real life — how I allocate time, what I am willing to sacrifice, and what I define as “enough.”
It showed me that success, happiness, health, and relationships do not rise together. Every decision strengthens one area while weakening another. The question is not how to maximize everything, but how to choose consciously.
I cannot change my past. I cannot predict my future with certainty. But I can observe my tendencies and adjust my direction.
The game did not design my life for me.
It simply made my direction visible.
And for now, that clarity is enough.
Disclosures
AI tools were used to assist with outlining, clarification, and editing suggestions.
All ideas, interpretations, and final writing decisions are my own.
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