Introduction
Social Media is everywhere.
This statement is no exaggeration. Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, most of us reach for our phones the moment we wake up. What we rarely notice is how deeply this habit shapes our emotions, attention and self-worth.
In this post, I want to explore why social media became so dominant, the consequences we overlook, and how can we live with it.
My Personal Experience
In May 2024, someone said this to me:
“Do you know that when I see you taking photos with other people, it makes me feel depressed.”
That sentence came from my loved ones. It pushed me into a three-month period of emotional struggle and forced me to question how much social media influences how we see ourselves and others. From mindless scrolling to looking for other people greatness only to be jealous of it.
Around the same time , I became heavily addicted to an online game. Ironically, that addiction reduced my time on Facebook. One day, a simple thought surfaced:
If I reduce playing social media to the bare minimum, my life might feel lighter.
Since then, I’ve posted less, scrolled less, and stopped the moment I catch myself scrolling without purpose. The result wasn’t dramatic — just quieter, calmer, and happier.
Social Media isn’t evil, it is purely by design to monetize attention. The problem is not the tool, but our unpreparedness for its consequences.
What Social Media took from me?
Looking back at all the times I spent on social media. I realize it had taken a lot of things from me.
I used to spend all night stalking people’s profile. Not out of curiosity, but fixation. My observation turn into obsession.
I was often pulled into online drama. Arguments felt important in the moment, but all it did was left me drained and uneasy. Overtime, this chipped away my self esteem.
I also followed politics closely on social media. The constant stream of opinions and outrage made it harder for me to control my temper. I felt tense, reactive, and restless — emotions that spilled into my offline life.
All the time, all of this felt normal. In reality, they killed me inside.
Why Social Media became a necessity
Social media didn’t become dominant by accident. It solves real problems.
It is how we communicate, work, remember. Removing it entirely would make our lives harder.
Communication without Friction
Before social media, communication requires effort, we have to make phone calls, schedule meetings or wait for the right moment to reconnect.
Social media makes this effortless. These activities no longer depend on timing or location.
A platform for expressing yourself
Humans seek acknowledgment. We want to be seen, understood and validated.
Social media offers that public stage. They can communicate through posting. Getting likes and comments makes us feel more acknowledged.
Good Business Platform
Whether is to promote your business or sell your products, platforms such as Facebook and Instagram allow direct access to customers. Instantaneous communication. Reach is global.
Easy Networking
Online interaction lowers social barriers. Speaking to strangers through a screen feels safer than face to face conversations.
I’m one of those people. I find it easier to talk openly about ideas and experiences on Facebook. Over time, those conversations turned into real friendships outside the digital world.
Social media doesn’t replace human connection — it often initiates it.
A storage of memories
Social media acts as a personal record.
Looking back at old posts revives moments. Revisiting those memories makes us feel fulfilled. In that way, social media becomes less about broadcasting and more about remembering.
With all these advantages, a life without social media is unthinkable. It connects, validates, sells, networks and remembers all in one place. This efficiency explains its grip on billions of people.
Drawbacks: Something an addict would never realize
Once social media has been incorporated into our lives. We used them unconsciously.
We checked our newsfeed the first thing in the morning. We scroll through posts whenever we have moment to spare. Like drinking water, this action feels automatic. What’s dangerous is not the behavior itself, but how invisible it becomes.
To understand why this habit is so powerful, we need to look at the framework described in Atomic Habits.
Atomic Habits: The guide to develop and changing your habits.
James Clear stated that every habit follows a four-step cycle
- Cue (Make it Obvious) – something that triggers the behavior
- Craving (Make it Attractive) -something that pairs the habit with your favorite activity
- Response (Make it Easy) -something that lowers the friction of the action.
- Reward (Make it Satisfying) – what we get as a reward for completing that action.
Social Media understands and exploits this model very well
Opening social media allows you to see the contents immediately. It learns what keeps you engaged and show it first. Most people place these apps on their Home Screen, within arm’s reach at all times. The cue is constant
As explored in “Like: The Button that Changed the World“, humans crave for two things intensely:
- Social Validation – we seek approval from others
- Belonging – being part of the society
“Posting” and “Liking” become behaviors that promise those rewards.
The response is effortless. Swipe, tap, comments. Each action takes seconds.
The reward is in the form of dopamine: attention and approval.
Once this loop completes, the brain wants to repeat it.
This leads to a lot of disadvantages addicts never realize:
Time Consuming
In the book “Life’s Missing Manual”, Thai users spent an average of 7 hours 54 minutes a day on social media. Why is that?
Consider two following loops:
- Post -> receive likes -> Post more
- Scroll -> find something interesting -> scroll more
Each loop is quick. Harmless. But when repeated endlessly, minutes turn into hours.
Ask yourself,
How many times did you checked your post just to see who liked it?
That alone can become its own infinite loop.
Lowers your self esteem
Social media reshapes how we evaluate ourselves.
As described in “To All Those with Wandering Hearts”, constant exposure to others’ milestones creates silent comparison.
- Someone moves abroad
- Someone buys a car
- Someone travels the world
At first glance, you feel happy for them and genuinely congratulate them.
But suddenly, you feel depressed and victimized. You compare yourself to those around you and start thinking
- He is so lucky
- She is so smart
- His life is going so well
- What about me, what have I done so far?
- I want to he like her
- Why am I behind?
Admiration quietly turns into envy. Overtime, comparison lowers self-esteem and distorts self-worth.
Attention Overload
Scrolling delivers massive amounts of information instantly. The brain absorbs more than it can process.
As a result, concentration weakens. Deep focus becomes uncomfortable. Ask yourself
When is the last time you finished a book?
People try to justify themselves. They claim that they are “Multitasking”. In reality, they just being attentive to social media. Work slows down. Procrastination increases. With constants notifications, recovery seems impossible.
Losing Authentic Identity
Online, identity is editable.
You can choose
- what to show
- what to hide
- how to present yourself
Overtime, you become so engrossed in it that you have to start faking in real life too. Problems become covered with excuses and lies. Soon, you lose your own originality.
How to live with Social Media
Social media has real advantages. Ignoring them would be dishonest.
The goal isn’t to eliminate social media, but to use it deliberately. The challenge is finding balance between benefit and dependency.
My Mindset
I think of social media as a modern search engine.
I use it to answer opinion based questions
- Which restaurants should I head to today?
- Which monitor should I buy?
People reviews through posts and vlogs has a lot more impact than pure AI recommendations. For these decisions, human experiences still matters.
I also use social media for private communication. In that role, it remains efficient and useful.
My Approach
Hide the application
I group together all my social media apps together and hide them deep in my phone. The extra effort required to find them creates friction.
This doesn’t eliminate usage, but it reduces impulse. When access isn’t immediate, behavior slows down. That alone makes a difference.
Interrupt mindless scrolling
Whenever I find myself scrolling without purpose, I remind myself
“You’re wasting time mindlessly scrolling. You have better things to do with your life. Stop.”
Then, I close the app.
This realization doesn’t come in quickly. Sometime it takes minutes. Sometime it takes hours. What matters is to know what to do once awareness returns.
Stop posting and liking
I intentionally avoid myself from posting and reacting. This is because posting creates a loop:
Post -> get liked -> get acceptance -> engrossed in what you’ve done for hours -> repeat the process.
Breaking this cycle removes a major source of dopamine reinforcement. Without it, time spent on social media drops naturally.
Find other activities to do
Scrolling usually happens when boredom appears.
I redirect my boredom towards other activities instead.
They can be time consuming activities like photography, playing tennis, crafting artworks. Or something that doesn’t take a lot of time like reading a book, take a walk.
Derive pleasure from something else. Overtime, they pull attention away from social media without force.
When you entered flow state elsewhere, scrolling loses its appeal
My Progress
I won’t claim that I have this under my control.
I still catch myself scrolling. During my new year in 2026, I posted happy new year to everyone on Facebook. To this day, I still revisited it. But progress is visible. I spend less time online and more time on other priorities.
Social Media addiction is like smoking. You don’t quit overnight. You weaken the habit slowly.
Be patient. Keep choosing better alternatives. The changes stacked.
What I gained back
As I spent less time on social media, something shifted quietly.
I regained focus. Without constant checking and scrolling, my attention stayed with the task in front of me longer. I made decisions based on what needed to be done, not on how things might appear to others.
I also stopped measuring myself through external validation. Without likes or reactions to chase, I felt less pressure to perform. Improvement mattered more than approval.
Most importantly, I regained a sense of direction. Instead of reacting to what others were doing, I began investing energy into my own growth — learning, creating, and refining skills that actually moved my life forward.
Conclusion
Social media is essential in modern life. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok are deeply embedded in how we communicate, work, and stay informed.
The issue isn’t usage — it’s excess.
There is a clear difference between using social media as a tool and allowing it to control our time, attention, and self-worth. Most people don’t notice when that line is crossed, because it happens gradually and quietly.
Quitting entirely isn’t realistic. What’s realistic is choosing to use social media only when it serves a purpose.
This pattern isn’t unique to social media. Online games offer the same cycle of pleasure and escape. Enjoyment isn’t the problem — lack of boundaries is.
Awareness is the first step. Discipline is the second. With both, these tools can remain useful without becoming destructive.
Disclosures
AI tools were used to assist with outlining, clarification, and editing suggestions.
All ideas, interpretations, and final writing decisions are my own.
References
Kasidis Satangmongkol – Life’s Missing Manual
Rawit Hanutsaha – To all Those With Wandering Hearts
James Clear – Atomic Habits
Martin Reeves & Bob Goodson – Like: The Button that Changed the World
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